The Affair Discovery {Part 2}

The Affair Discovery {Part 2}

The next couple of weeks were full of all types of different emotions. I compare it to a buffet, but with someone else choosing what I will be given. Here, let’s dish a little betrayal on your plate, some disbelief, some anger, of course, and a big heaping spoonful of SHOCK, just for good measure. That big platter of desserts you have helped yourself to? No, we are putting those back. Let’s get rid of the good things you like: self-esteem, pride, trust, confidence and certainty. So there you have it – a heaping plate of everything unpleasant.

My husband answered the questions I asked (although I knew that it wasn’t everything). Part of telling the whole truth means not leaving out pertinent information that wasn’t specifically asked. I’m sure he understood this, but I felt that I will still somewhat in the dark.

He did everything he was supposed to do, including giving me the passcode to his phone, the password to his email address, checked on me throughout the day (during the work week), and apologized profusely over and over again. He will not allow me to accept blame in this, and has completely owned that it was his fault, and his fault alone.

What we have done (and still do) together that helped immensely, is talk. And talk. And talk. Communication has been key, and we both came to the realization that we had stopped communicating over the past few years. Through this new communication, we are discovering where we went off track, and how we can make sure it will never happen again.

Our emotions ran high, and they still do, even after 2 1/2 months. We are loving towards each other. Affection and “I Love Yous” are at an all-time high.

But along with all of the positive things, there were (and still are) many, many dark days for me (and I’m sure for him too). I desperately tried to piece together the timeline of the affair, but things just didn’t add up. I had/have to know the events of the timeline for any of this to make sense. I was hyper-vigilant, and very wary of just about everything. I hate that feeling.

Affair discovery is the most traumatic thing imaginable. If you haven’t been through it (and I hope you never do, although if you are here, I’m assuming you have experienced it), you cannot begin to understand how devastating it is.

We had a second D-Day too about a month later, where he opened up and told me everything. I will be posting about that soon.

Make sure you read D-Day {Discovery Day} Part 1 too.